The latest greatest:

Wow.

So, I don't really even know how this happened... but I got myself a stalker! He's only a year older than I am and incredibly obnoxious. I tried being indirect to get rid of him. It didn't work. I tried being more direct. That didn't work. I went for really direct, and am rude to the guy every time I see him (which feels SO weird, because I am almost pathologically nice most of the time). Still hasn't worked. He's just decided he's in the "friend zone," and is perfectly cheery about it. Still texts nonstop, still keeps trying to ask me out... it's frigging obnoxious. However, he leaves town in a month. I'm just going to wait it out.

Also, guys keep asking for my number. This is weird, because 1) this rarely happens, and 2) I don't even open them or anything. They just come up --- one guy at a cafe had a whole gimmick about having me come read something he wrote, and it was basically just a two-page lead-in that asked me for my number --- and another guy started chatting me up at work and ended with, "So, uh, this might be kinda awkward, but is there some way I could get in touch with you?" It's been quite unusual. I'm not into either of the guys, but I'm not really sure why it was happening. I didn't look particularly good or make eye contact or anything. All I know is that in both cases, I was really into what I was doing. In the cafe, I'd been working on my novel, and at work, I'd been listening to an awesome episode of the Pickup Podcast. I suppose passion really is contagious.

On the podcasts, check 'em out! http://www.pickuppodcast.com . I highly recommend them! They're done by two guys, AJ and Jordan, and I really like their content and their attitudes. You can tell they're into this because they love women and want to connect with people, and they're really upbeat and positive and a lot of fun. I'm on episode 15 or something like that; I'm going to work all the way up to where they're at now. Really informative stuff, and the podcasts pump up my inner game like crazy.

I've got another issue right now, beyond the stalker and the random number requests: a bad case of oneitis. Not cool, esp. because the guy has a girlfriend, who is also my friend. Yeah. Sticky. Also, he's a total player. I know this, and I fall for him anyway. He's kissed pretty much every female in my acquaintance, but not me. He's tried... but I haven't reciprocated because he's the one guy I get so nervous around I can't think straight. (I've mentioned him before in this blog. Same recurring guy you'll see below.) I'm getting better, since I've been trying to think of him just as a friend --- helps with the butterflies --- but it's still distracting to always have him in the back of my mind.

This isn't a NEW thing --- I've been head over heels for him for two years --- but it flames up sometimes and takes a while to dampen back down. If he was single, I think at this point I'd honestly just make out with him and try to get it out of my system, but he's not so I won't. We flirt a lot, and I think it'd actually be pretty easy to move in for a kiss or whatever sometime, but it's not worth the repercussions. So I get to wait, hope he's single again sometime soon, and try to move on and flirt with other guys. Kinda hard in this itsy bitsy town, but I'll be back to school soon. Once I'm back I'm going to start on the StyleLife Challenge again. I attempted it once but didn't get past day one. No real motivation and it's hard when you already know everyone in town.

Anyway... that's my update. Don't know if anyone's still reading, but if you are, comment me, or hit me up. I'd love to chat with some of you sometime! sheclectica at gmail dot com

Forums ahoy!

Woot. So I've joined the Attraction Forums and am having a BLAST. It's mostly guys, which is cool because being around that many guys, even just online, makes me happy. And they're all really encouraging and willing to give all sorts of insight into things that most guys have never thought about enough to verbalize. I'm lovin' it.

I'm having quite a bit of fun with four guys right now. One of them has fallen for me pretty hard, though, to his credit, I only know this because I've picked up on the signs and because I got some third-party information. I'm not really interested in him --- a bit young for me, mentally --- but he's cool to hang out with. Actually, they're all cool to hang out with, and are all open to doing stuff with me as a group... it's sweet. Doubt anything'll come out of it, but it's awesome to be building these friendships with guys. My friends have always been mostly girls, and I'm loving the new male energy in my life. Hopefully they're enjoying me just as much. ;)

Not a lot of proper DATING, though... How do I escalate these friendships into proper dates? Eh. I'll figure it out. Until then, enjoying the ride!

This Just In:

Yeah, I'm still alive!

Been busy... out of town... sick... and kicking serious butt on the novel I'm writing, which is almost done. Yay!

Now: new report. Good report. FABULOUS report. I'm copying this from a post I made on our forum.

I was hanging out with some friends last night, and I was really tired and stayed in the corner and zoned out for most of the evening. A few of the girls were swarming around this guy (one of my main targets for the past while) and I figured I wouldn't try to compete with them.

Once most of the people had left, it was just me, one other girl, and six or so guys. So I planted myself in the middle of them and announced that I was tired and wasn't going to be interesting, so they would have to entertain me, which got a couple fun song and dance routines out of them, and then some of the younger guys left (usually a good thing, in my book...) and I was within minutes this dazzling belle being actively competed for by three guys.

The secret: I'd been reading "The MANual" (by Steve Santagati) that morning. I'm not sure WHAT key idea triggered this outrageous flirt to come out, but I think it had something to do with the concepts of:

1) Being consistently spontaneous. I was playful and never paid attention to one of them for more than a few minutes in a row, and texted one while I was talking to another and vice-versa. (It was a casual environment and we were all texting each other during our conversations, so it was fun rather than rude, lol.) For reference, it's really fun to have a light conversation going at the same time as serious I-really-like-you texts.

2) Being just a little bit naughty. I usually come across as being rather innocent and bookish, so it was fun to really come out of my shell and make a lot of teasing "You just want me for my body" and "I have that effect on men" comments.

3) Realizing that sex+comedy is a man's favorite pasttime. I walked in on a rather subtle but hilarius dirty joke; they were really surprised that I got it, and seemed delighted that I could swing around and make a few sharp ones myself. I love surprising guys.

So... yeah. It was fun, and I got a huge energy surge, and a huge confidence boost. It helps that I really enjoy the company of all these guys. It's awesome to be the one spot of estrogen amid all that testosterone, lol.

Also, I have just gotten my hands on a copy of "Rules of the Game: The StyleLife Challenge" and am looking forward to starting it. Expect updates!

Update

We went out again last night, just to hang out and talk. It was nice. We went for a short walk, but I did not respond to whatever physical overtures he was making 'cause it was COLD and I was wrapped up with my arms wedged all weird in my coat.

I've got to find some way to... express interest. It just feels like my timing is off somehow, and I get nervous every time I get close to making a move. I'm going to try NLP as PoisonSweetKiss suggested, which I hope will help. Wish me luck!

Help!

Warning: my head is spinning.

I'm making progress with this guy. He's the one I've been into forever and I'm head over heels for him. We spent some time together yesterday, talking and cuddling. It was really fun, really comfortable. And he kissed me, just on the cheek. I'm sorry to report that I had an attack of the butterflies and didn't just turn and kiss him back for real like I probably should have... but anyway, it wasn't awkward or anything and we were together for like an hour after that and things were okay.

But today, he seems to have totally pulled back. Except he seems like he's in a better mood than he was before. But... well, he's not all over me, wanting to know when he can see me again, etc. etc., which is what I WISH he was doing. Is it even slightly reasonable to expect that, or am I being, as I think, irrational and impatient?

Oh, I don't know what to think. And I only see him once a week or so because we live some distance away, and I'm not sure that I'll have a chance to see him again to make my intentions as perfectly clear as I'd like.

And how do I make intentions clear? Flirt hardcore? Say it flat out? Pin him against a wall and kiss him senseless? (Somehow I think that would be awkward if he wasn't expecting or wanting anything quite that forward...)

But if he's withdrawing slightly, is now the time to make my intentions clear? Or is now the time to play flirtation games? Or...

I just don't know. Insight? Please? I'm desperate, inexperienced, and trapped in my own head. I like him too much to think straight.

Flirting frenzy, indeed.

So... the new semester's been pretty profitable so far.

A guy from back home has been off-and-on with me. It's more a case of me trying to not be seduced by him, because's frankly probably not that good for me, but oh-so-gorgeous and oh-so-tempting. Not overly interested in me, though he can put on the pretense when he's lonely. However this works out, he WILL see me as an attractive, desirable, and possibly unattainable woman. I'm trying The Art of Seduction methods with this one. He's a grand experiment. Somehow I think he'd be wryly amused if he knew.

A guy from school who I knew last semester asked me out. We had an awesome time, but, as usual, he's completely awesome and therefore I'm not too attracted to him. Really nice guy, but I'm just not feeling the chemistry. He seems to take dating more seriously than I do, but... well, we'll test the waters. We've agreed to have a second date, though the particulars are up in the air.

The guy I mentioned a while ago who seemed totally turned off by my briskness got back in touch with me and said he wanted to hang out. In all honesty, I've kind of missed him, so we're coordinating schedules. Still not sure how romantic I want to get, but I'm keeping options open.

A guy from a group I belong to walked me home. He's headed out of town for the rest of the semester, but it appears that he intends to keep in touch... he sent me a message the other night that made me grin, because frankly I don't think I've ever been that overtly flirted with in my life. He said he is going to write a poem about me --- I'm "inspiring" --- and that I'm very attractive, among other things. It's all just generally over-the-top and delicious. Rawr.

What gets me about all this is that I've hardly had to try. Guess it's springtime magic. ;)

Oh, also, I learned a few other things about attracting attention.

1) High heels. They really do work. I've been experimenting, and the last three times guys have seriously hit on me, I was in heels (and walking like I belonged in them). When I'm in flats they're still nice but not so interested.

2) Walk and stand like you're a triple E. Seriously. Good posture with the chest way out gets looks and smiles like nothing else. (This probably only works because I'm a B, so I don't have tons to flaunt.) I think the key here is to make it look like good posture, not just that you're sticking your breasts out into space. :p Or, heck, why complicate things? Sit up straight.

All right, have to dash off to class. Have a scrumptuous day!

New semester... old dramatics... trying to keep it light!

The new semester is about to start. I'm very excited. Dating, according to everyone I've talked with, tends to be pretty high-speed near the beginning of the semester. Near the end, the general idea is that you either have a boyfriend/girlfriend or give up.

Not I, of course. I'm always open for business.

Wow, that sounds wrong... Hehe.

All right, I've got a dilemma. Maybe one of you, my dear readers, will have some insight:

My ex is still completely infatuated with me. (Seriously, if I could just figure out what I did to get and keep HIM, I'd have the world on a string.) Except he's trying to act like he's not, and he's going a bad job of it. This wouldn't be too horrible, but he has a girlfriend right now, who happens to be a friend of mine. It's very weird when we're all together. I thought it was just me, but then another friend talked to me privately and asked what was going on. "You all seem like you're really good friends on the surface," he said, "but then I look at John [name changed] and there's something weird about it." Which pretty much sums it up...

The story went like this: John and I were friends when we met Annie -> Annie and I became friends -> John and I broke up (I did the dumping) -> John and Annie got together about two weeks afterward; much of the time I got the distinct feeling that he was flirting with her to try and make me jealous (he's unsubtle like that) -> Annie had a pregnancy scare; he'd pressured her to sleep with him -> John dumped Annie, giving her with little to no reason why -> Annie and I got pretty close while she got over the scare and breakup -> John and Annie got back together for reasons I don't know; Annie has learned to assert herself somewhat (still has major assertiveness and self-esteem issues) and they are on a strict no sex policy (which will hopefully make things a LITTLE less serious).

The awkward bit (well, most of it's awkward, but you get what I mean): whenever we're together, Annie and I are pretty good friends, and John and I are... sort-of friends. He tries, painfully hard, but I remain polite but standoffish. However, he'll come sit by me, leaving Annie alone if necessary. He finds whatever excuses he can to be by and talk to me. Every time I look up, his eyes are on me. He only cuddles with Annie when he thinks I might be watching. I've started to avoid hanging out with them, but it's hard because we travel in the same circles and have a lot of mutual friends.

Any tips? It's a bizarre situation... I can't tell her to dump the idiot because she really wants to "make it work" and is completely blind to how badly he treats her, and because I'm simply not going to see like a disinterested party since I am, after all, the ex he's constantly making googly eyes at. I've talked to him about it numerous times in no unclear terms, but he's dense as a lead brick... How do you convince someone they're over you?

Honestly... I'd enjoy the power, but this bothers me because it's my friend who's getting the raw end of the deal. It's not fair for her to be treated like dirt because he likes me.

Sigh.

On a brighter note: I've made friends with a guy who wants to take me to lunch --- we'll see if it happens with the new semester and all. I'm not really attracted to him, so I'm not going to call him up if he doesn't call me. I do like him, though, so... what happens, happens.

The guy I do like quite a lot seems to be sort-of getting over his girlfriend. I guess she's gotten back with her ex, so now he's coming to terms with the fact that it's really over. I'm doing my best to be there for him --- not just because I want to be the convenient next in line, mind, because I don't know if that's the case. Singlehood is fun. We're mostly just friends and I want to try and cheer him up the best I can.

All right, enough for now, lol. I'll be impressed if you've managed to get through all that...

Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-gena!

So... a friend of mine and I went out to see an opera... it was SO much fun. In the first place, I LOVE opera. In the second place, he's an awesome guy, and in the third place, I think he liked it. (Yay! Another convert!)

Oh, wow. So the TV is on in front of me, and my roommates and I are watching this special on lions, and we all just got to witness graphic lion sex. Apparently they bite one another's necks while mating. So do humans. Let the Hallelujah Chorus raise its glorious strains as we all have a transcendant moment experiencing the oneness-of-all-life.

Yeah, anyway. So we had an awesome time... I'm so grateful for friends. Especially guy friends... you just get this relaxed vibe from being around them. And he's awesome. Not pursuing the romance thing 'cause if I do it'll make me the rebound girl bigtime, but it's really nice to have someone I can hang out with who's pretty much on the same wavelength.

All other romance is on hold for now... I'm laid up with sinus headaches and a cough. Let's hear it for spring, huh? However, once I get back on... any ideas for missions or goals?

OH! Almost forgot to give a field report on my foray into the world of online dating. I found a local dating site --- specific to my school --- and found a guy on there whose profile I really meshed with. We shared the love of foreign films, one in particular. So, we got to chatting, set a date, and got together to do dinner and an Italian film. It was tons of fun, we really meshed... but the chemistry just wasn't there. I decided to try it again and invited him to a concert. Again, we had an amazing time, tons of fun, there was lots of laughing, and it was very comfortable... but still no chemistry. It was like hanging out with a brother or a friend from when I was a kid... I'm just not attracted to him.

He seemed to be really interested in me, and suggested that we get together for another movie. I agreed, but I think my message was kind of brisk --- not really brisk, just a little bit --- and I haven't heard tons from him since. We send each other stuff from apps on Facebook and run into each other on campus and stuff, and it's friendly, but I don't think he's interested.

So, moral of the story: maintain enthusiasm on high if you want to maintain a relationship. If you want to cool it down, cool down the enthusiasm.

Any tips on how to stay friends while expressing that you're not interested romantically? It'd be a shame to lose friends just 'cause the chemistry's not there. Or can that even be done when one side is interested and the other isn't?

Long time no post...

Wow, it's been a while, huh?

Just a quick progress update: I've gotten MUCH better at striking up conversations with people, have developed comfortable acquaintances with lots of people, guys and girls, and am beginning to not exactly mak the first move, but let guys know that it's okay to make the first move. It's worked --- four guys have asked me out within the past month. For me, this is MAJOR progress.

And I'm totally flirting. It's just teasing... that's all there is to it... teasing with the occasional I-like-you comment thrown in.

And it's FUN.

Red lipstick

WOW, are there a lot of cute guys at this school.

So, my roommates and I have been bemoaning our lack of boyfriends --- along with being gorgeous, the guys here are very much outnumbered --- and I've been working on my flirting and conversational skills whenever I get a chance. Making eye contact, all that.

A couple of mini-reports:

1) I went to this assembly thing, and my roommate and I came in a little bit late. There were two seats next to these guys, so I asked if they were open and the guy on the end said they were. So we sat down... and he started to preen. And preen. And adjust his socks. And his hair. And cross his leg over his knee so it was pointing my way. And he'd glance at me. And he sort of lacked social graces --- was texting all throught the meeting and was wearing sweat socks with moccasins (I try to be an accepting person, but some things are just wrong) --- but it was still totally empowering to be able to affect him that much.

2) A guy who lives nearby who knows my roommates went out of his way to talk to me today. He saw me come in the building, and then twenty minutes later he was at my elbow, making small talk. I don't think I made him fall in love, but I did make him laugh.

3) Went to an arts council meeting, and there was a cute guy there. I glanced his way a couple of times, did the on-again off-again eye contact thing, offered a couple small smiles, and eventually he was looking at me every time I glanced that way and was doing everything he could to get attention. I think this is just his personality, but still... gives me hope!

And, today I discovered the great secret of catching male attention:

RED LIPSTICK.

That's all it takes. Red lipstick and every eye turns your direction.

Anyway... yup, life's good.

Recap. Kinda.

So, New Year's was pretty un-groundbreaking on the flirting front, simply because I spent most of the time with family. That was okay... I hadn't seen many of them in ages and it was nice to get back in touch. I had someone try a pickup line on me on New Year's Eve when we went downtown to the concerts and shows and things, but we were quickly seperated by the crowd. (Next time...)

HOWEVER... I've started school. And wow, talk about Mecca. Had orientation and have been flirting nonstop with guys in all shapes and sizes... ended up getting quite up close and personal with a very cute guy from South America... and prospects are pretty cheery on the whole. I'll report more when there's more to report. Until then, just keeping very, very busy!