New Year's Objectives...

All right... I'm headed out of town for New Year's. I will be going to --- yay! --- a city. That means people. That means men. That means ample flirting opportunity.

Since I'm not even good at basic flirting, let alone PUA or seduction, these be my goals:

1) Flirt with everything that moves. Male, female, animal, whatever.

2) Ooze charm. I'm going to try the "Mama Gena's School of Womanly Arts" method here, that being to simply think yummy thoughts about the person I'm looking at/talking to. We'll see how it works...

3) Use flirting to make my life easier on at least one occasion, assuming an occasion presents itself.

4) Make eye contact! Make them look away first.

Any other suggestions are welcome... until I get back, by all means comment on the previous post --- I'm curious to hear what people have to say --- and I'll give a report as soon as I get home.

Happy New Year!!

Judging the book by its cover?

How much do looks matter?

They definitely help get a foot in the door with some guys... but beyond that? Male PUAs refer to women using a numerical system (brunette 9.5, blonde 10), which is based pretty much on appearance as far as I can tell. So it's obviously important... but is a friendly smile going to go further than a sexy dress?

To take it further, what kinds of clothes attract what kinds of guys? Does the aforementioned friendly smile work on the same guy whether you're in a slinky red dress, or a t-shirt and jeans, or a suit? What about a sporty look versus something goth? Can you get the same guys with different looks, or are certain men going to go only for a certain style? And is it better to just "be yourself" or to explore and try out different looks, even if they're not totally natural?

Hm. Things to ponder...

Mission Ideas?

So... I want to come up with actual missions. Fox suggested on Womenslair that we do things like approach a certain number of guys, and then work on getting a hug close or number close... It's a great idea, and I want to come up with more.

Any ideas for non-intimidating missions? I'd rather start at the shallow end of the pool and work my way in.

For reference: I live in a fairly rural area where everyone knows everyone else and anything I do could potentially start a rumor; major people-filled spots consist of the mall, the mall, and, uh, the mall; and I'm going to be at a large university with a fairly religious/conservative student population in a couple of weeks. So, with that in mind... Any suggestions?

Ah, the sweet feeling of being RIGHT...

Lol... so... my ex has a new girlfriend.

This is amusing on several counts. I'm not remotely surprised, and I'm totally happy for them... but I'm also glad that I dumped him when I did. It wasn't going anywhere, and he's... well, when we broke up, he insisted that he couldn't even think of holding hands with another girl until I left for school, but it's only been two months, I'm still here, and he's deeply madly into her. My grandma warned me that he was the wishy-washy type, more concerned with conquering me and having a makeout buddy than with being with me, and, as always, she was right. I hope the new girlfriend gets the good end of it, though. He was a crash-course in romance for me, which was great for me if bad for him, but I'm afraid he might be the same for her...

Of course, it would have been nice if he'd pined over me a little longer. Although I guess a month of pining for a two-month relationship isn't half bad... Lol...

And, as you may have gathered, yes, I am pretty new to all this relationship stuff. Which is why I'm interested in the PU stuff... I don't want to end up with someone I'm not totally into because my options are so limited, and I don't want to be naive enough to dive headfirst into a relationship just because I feel powerless. I ended up with him because he liked me and made me feel like someone didn't think of me as just a friend. How much better would it be to have lots of people like me and see me as something other than a friend, and then have my pick of the lot?

Oh... and Merry Christmas!

Woot!

Okay... just finished The Game and am starting The Art of Seduction. Will probably post more about The Game later... I took nine pages of notes while reading. I really want to take this and seriously apply it to women, and avoid some of the problems the PU community in the book had.

In other news... Everyone go check out Vanilla Soup's Women's Lair (the link is to the right, under "Forums"). Looks like it's going to be a pretty cool forum. Heck, it's already a pretty cool forum... it just needs people.

Google Group!

Started a Google Group for fPUAs.

http://groups.google.com/group/fpuas

Come check it out!

The Game

Wow.

Just started reading "The Game." I knew it was the PUAs handbook and all, but... wow. Consider me fascinated.

Review of the evening...

Okay. I'm home. Here's the review:

Went to the movie. Great time on the drive there, great time there, not so great time back because we ran into car trouble.

So... did I meet my goals? Truth be told, I didn't think about them much when I was out there, I was just enjoying his company. Which, I think, is a good thing... but anyway, here goes.

1) Listen. I did better at this. Heard some cool childhood stories and kept him talking.

2) Mirror. Also did good with this. Amazing how effective it is.

3) Verbally mirror. Pretty much forgot about doing it...

4) Attract. Well, I don't think he was really checking me out or anything... but I felt good in what I was wearing and with myself, so I think it helped.

5) Be independent. Not sure whether I succeeded on this count or not... I think I failed. Let him pay for me --- he tends to be really chivalrous like that --- and there wasn't really anyone else around to flirt with... our showing wasn't very full and there just weren't opportunities. Smiling and saying "Thank you" to the guy who gave us our tix doesn't count.

Lessons

1) Must remember to let guys open doors for me. He kept trying, but I was already halfway through the door and forgot until saw him catching it or coming around to open it. He's a total gentleman and I REALLY should encourage this kind of behavior in all and any guys... but I'm used to being in charge of most situations and it throws me for a loop when I'm suddenly being waited on. Let them be gentlemen.

2) Try and direct the conversation more, rather than lots of inane chitchat about the weather. I would have liked to learn more about him, dug deeper, exchanged views on stuff that matters, and instead I kept making idiotic comments like, "I love watching the snow come down, it's just so pleasant looking, all lazy like that."

3) If he offers to pay for the tickets, at least offer to get the drinks. Even if he does have his wallet out already. It's really nice of him to take care of it and all, but I should contribute something, especially if we're just going out as friends.

Hm.

Anyway, I want to come up with something to do for him... esp. since his car was acting up, he seemed pretty bummed... Hm...

Oh, the movie was amazing, though. Lots of good films out lately...

My mission, should I choose to accept it...

I think I'm going to just set myself assignments. Or Missions, since that sounds more fun.

The Situation

I'm going to a movie tonight with a friend. This friend:

1) Has been the object of my adoration for the past six months or so.

2) Has a girlfriend.

Therefore...

1) It will be good to do stuff with him because it'll help get over my eternal woodenness when confronted with someone I like, but

2) Since he's taken, that removes the stress of whether he likes me back, how I'm coming across, if he's going to call later, and all that other silly stuff... and means I have to keep things on a social/platonic/nonsexual level. I definitely don't want to break up him and his gf; that's just a bad idea. (Not much chance of that, of course, lol.)

The Mission

To have fun, to flirt, to be my charmingest self, to make him enjoy the evening (because it's nice to be flirted with)... and if I see any cute strangers, to have all eyes on me.

Specific Strategies

1) Listen. I tend to talk way too much and way too much about myself around him.

2) Mirror. This has been hugely successful in the past. We tend to mirror one another naturally now, but still, it'll be a good thing to keep an eye on.

3) Verbally mirror. This is a technique I'm not super-familiar with, but it's time to give it a go.

4) Attract. I do want to be physically appealing to him... the outfit I'm wearing was chosen specifically to fit in with the kinds of clothes his dream girls wear. (All of the celebrities he says are hot fall into a specific category. Cool part is, they're the ones I wish I looked like... this is a good excuse to play around with styles I'm not normally bold enough to try.)

5) Be independent. In the first place, this seems to be a huge turn-on for guys (my last boyfriend was initially attracted to me because I came across as spunky and confident) and in the second, it's a power trip for me. This will include flirting with anyone else I see, of course.

Mission begins at roughly 2100 hours.

Intro!

INTRO, hopefully falling into the categories of Short and Interesting:

I'm a SWF, a college student, and someone who is absolutely fascinated by flirtation and seduction, on both intellectual and omigosh-he-looked-at-me! levels. After I saw an episode of --- surprise --- The Pickup Artist, I started combing the internet for similar techniques of flirtation. Found plenty of information, and, get this, it's all geared to men. Is it just generally accepted that women just know how to seduce and be charming? I mean, the bottom line is that women do the choosing in the end --- but some of us (that'd be me) could use a little help getting there.

As of right now, I'm going to do experiments, talk to other women the game of romance, see what I can learn from pickup guides geared to men, and... well, just see what happens. Hopefully I'll connect with some of you out there, and then... well, let's see what happens, shall we?

Goals:
To have men be interested in me, and not just on a buddy-buddy level. (Yeah, that'd be me, the one over in the Friend Zone.) Bonus points if they're hot. Double bonus points if they're my type, and triple bonus points if they're both.

So...
If you read this, post a comment so I know you're out there. If you want updates, post more... heck, maybe we'll get a whole community going. One can only hope, right?

Have a strawberry-filled day!